The Guys

 

Brad "B-rad" Hartwell
Stats: 5'10, 170lb 
Hair: Brown 
Beard: Not Brown, its Red.
College: Rensellear Polytechnical Institute
Likes: Baseball, cougars, and impropper grammer
Dislikes:  Long words, especially long words, and blowing a fart that no one can hear
Also hates cats that lack hair.
Hobbies: Golfing, Blindo-beer-box boxing, and giraffe voyeurism.



 




Mikey "Shark-Bite" Neivert
Stats:  5'9, 170lb 
Hair: Brownish  
Beard: Mighty
College: Wheaton College
Likes:  Ice climbing, hiking, purchasing expensive clothing on the internet
Dislikes:  Partial nudity, and pooping before breakfast
Also hates pooping twice before breakfast.
Hobbies:  Being extremely un-extreme, farting in the bathtub.





 






"Royal" Dan Parrella
Stats:  5'10, 160lb 
Hair: Red 
Beard: Also Red
College: Northeastern University
Likes: The interwebs and Korean hot pot
Dislikes: most things that involve fees, surcharges, or taxes. 
Also hates tiny bottles of beer.
Hobbies: Leopard skin hot pants and concerts

 





John "Grandma" Racine
Stats:  6'4, 260lb  
Hair: Blonde 
Beard: Not Blonde, its Red.
College: Northeastern University
Likes:  Rats that lack hair, yelling, and SLAYER!!!!
Dislikes:  Mitt Romney and his dog.
Also hates getting his panties in a bunch.
Hobbies:  Politics, Metal, and the hole in the sheet.

 






 


John "W" Windheim
Stats: 6'1, 180lb 
Hair: Brown
Beard: Peachy
College: The Zoo
Likes: Tom Brady's beard, baseball, chicks that live in Somerville
Dislikes: Yacking in minivans
Also hates talking about the time he yacked in a minivan.
Hobbies: Broadcasting himself over the internet, but it's not what you think.



 


 Dan "Killa Kobra" Kobrenski
Stats: 6'2, 170lb 
Hair: Brown 
Beard: Married
College: The Zoo
Likes:  "The Plant", hockey, playing dress up
Dislikes:  Grown-up food, Giraffes
Also hates poopy diapers.
Hobbies: Half-assing-half marathons.

Kieran "J-Bird" Egan
Stats:  5'9, 180lb 
Hair: Brown 
Beard: Patchy
College: Northeastern University
Likes: Guitar, 'Wa-shoes', "skin" diving
Dislikes: Old people (in general)
Also hates people from Massachusetts (in general).
Hobbies:  Fishing and playing the blues.






 





Reed "The Captain" Southard

Stats: 5'7, 170lb 
Hair: Brown 
Beard: Supressed College: University of Maryland
Likes: Combat zone tax benefits, Billary Clinton?
Dislikes: Fighter pilots and their mustaches
Also hates pants.
Hobbies: Flying, hiking, taking artistic photographs.

 

Tobias "The Flirt" Kowal
Stats: 18 Months by the wedding Hair: Blonde Beard: Coming in slow
School: of Hard Knocks
Likes: Wheels, fans, heavy metal lullabys
Dislikes:  Not getting what he wants when he wants it
Also hates not being allowed to date yet.
Hobbies: Swimming, gardening, playing with Daddy's big boy toys